Friday, December 28, 2007

train talking



Driving around DC, we caught this Kiss & Ride sign on one corner. I thought it was like a whoa, bizarre sign! moment. But it is merely a pedestrian (ho ho) occurrence.

Another chapter of transportation observations. Chapter one: the sweet sounds of adultery. Chapter two: the giggle-inducing bad repartee.

I'm sitting on the 1 subway and the squat lady in a hunter green coat next to me was placidly knitting a hunter green scarf. Perhaps hunter green is her favorite color. And the train fills up, as it does during the evening rush. And then, commotion near the doors! Somebody has trodden on somebody's foot! The horror, the horror!

Or more like, Lady A trips and steps on or into a duo of other ladies. (I don't know why I'm using the term "lady". It sounds vaguely Victorian. Lady Amelia Fotherington stepped swiftly into the carriage much to the confoundment and dismay of Sir Edmund Beef Wellington. Ho ho.) Duo lady #1 was like, Oh hey! or Ow! or some other admittedly angry or pained exclamation. Lady A FREAKS.OUT. In high strung tones, she wails about how it's not her fault. The duo mutter to themselves, really nothing to pay any attention to, if you are a normal human being. Lady A FREAKS.OUT.AGAIN. She's all like, "I don't understand why you have to say negative things about me! You don't know me! You can't judge me by my face! I'm getting married in five days! I'm just trying to make it! You don't know what I'm going through. JESUS CHRIST!"

Duo person #1: You can talk to him at church, praise him.

People giggle. Green lady knits, imperturbable, this one!

Lady Freak Out: (again!) I'm just trying to make it! I can't believe this!

They all get out at the next stop. This has taken place in the course of one stop. I always wonder about taking the 1 line one stop. At most it's like seven or eight blocks. Anyhow, maybe Lady Freak Out was having the worst day of her life. She is just trying to get through the day. Maybe she's afraid she won't be married because she freaks out every time someone says something. Maybe she was just thinking of that tune, "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere?" and really taking that to heart.

People should just stop freaking out and be courteous. Like Lady Amelia Fotherington who, finally coming to her senses that Sir Edmund Wellington was a boor and a brute, to boot, bid him an efficient farewell.

Or they could be like the guy I saw on the 2, breaking out the mini liquor bottle and mixing its contents with those of his cheerfully holiday-festooned Starbucks cup. Coffee cocktails. How classy! AND economical.

No comments: