Wednesday, July 27, 2005

skin deep

I have received no less than seven mosquito bites from this past weekend. They are all on my right arm. Yesterday, they swelled up so I had a very lumpy looking arm which bothered me when I typed. Today, I think they are beginning to bruise, or my blood vessels have spontaneously combusted, spinal-tap-drummer-style, around them. My roommate gave me some homeopathic medicine made out of diluted bee venom or something, which may have brought down the swelling. All in all, it is not a pleasant sight.

On Sunday, my mom - she gets all these crazy ideas from reading the korean newspaper, you know, like how I should be a doctor or a computer techie or an accountant - wanted to try this "all natural" remedy on me. She heard that mashed turnip was really good at clearing up skin. In no time at all, there she was, grating some turnip, and whilst I was watching a rerun of Grey's Anatomy, an episode that also featured a prominent audio spot for Interpol's "Evil" and where that lady finds out that what's her name is sleeping with that doctor, she put this cold mushy stuff on my face.

To paraphrase Ralph from the Simpsons, it felt like burning.

I ran, my face on turnip fire, to the bathroom sink to wash the stuff off. My mother was like, "you're such a baby" and then said she would try it herself when I was gone. Undeterred, she went back to the kitchen to mash and grate some more vegetables. This time, the episode almost over, she put some cucumber and honey. Mmmmm. Sounds tasty. Thankfully enough, it was very refreshing and did indeed soothe and soften the skin. Well, there you go. The skin-related saga of yours truly and with a moral too. Never put turnip on your face.

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