Wednesday, July 20, 2005

the power’s out in the heart of man

So I've been enjoying my yoga classes and even though I'm at a superbeginner level, some of the ways of thinking seem to be proving useful for me since these past few years, I've been prone to getting really down in the eeyore dumps. Stuff like paying attention to yourself and being aware and equanimity and being in the present, blahblahblah sound like organic food but are ultimately, if actually applied, rather healthy outlooks. But keeping this up is not as easy as granola. or pie. or granola pie. (?) It takes a lot of effort. And other bad, negative, evil things see this well-intentioned attempt and go splattering themselves violently against my windshield. I'm out of control with the metaphors, but that's okay because I'm losing my mind. Splat splat.

Been feeling a bit off-kilter since Monday and having trouble assembling real sentences verbally. (like, really? totally). Yesterday, I stumbled around, got some take-out from a new place on metropolitan, hung the new shower lining (domestic excitement!), and watched W's supreme court justice nominee announcement on tv, and sometime during law & order svu, there was this weird, pungent smell in the apartment like plastic burning. Well, it turns out it was the plug and outlet for the fridge, which shorted out or I don't know what happened electronically. And then the power in my apartment proceeded to go out.

So it was kind of hot last night. And this morning. But now the off-kilterness has been transformed into other planetary beingness. Like I'm wandering around feeling like a mermaid who just got brand new legs without being consulted by some fairy godmother. Like, what the hell are these limbs? Why am I out of the water?

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