Tuesday, May 17, 2005

scattering like marbles on the lam

I need to go to bed soon so that I can not be late for work tomorrow and then lose all control and then eat all the everything bagels left out in plain sight for CarbMonster (that's me). Bagels are perfect foodstuffs. And that's that.

But for a girl who spends half her day thinking about sleep, my brain's all scatter-like. If it were music, it would sound a little bit like a serrated knife spreading not enough butter on toast. Scrrrrr. Scrrr. Yes. My only awake times are at 1:11 in the morning and I'm making toast sounds that don't sound like toast at all. Gone are the illusions of becoming a fashion-minded young thing in heels. Listen to me walk in my staccato stiletto: suc-cess, suc-cess, suc-cess.

I don't think I could walk in stilettos. Maybe I could use them to spear some steak.

I really need to cancel my nyt subscription. Much as I like reading it on Saturday mornings, the mile high recycling pile that sits unread, unlearned, still with their crisp precise original folds rebuke my thinning wallet.

I opened a can of refried beans today and it reminded me a little bit too much of opening a can of catfood for my roommate's cat, Mikhail, otherwise known as the Arrogant Commander. Disturbing.

My wise mother told me not to eat anything after 6 pm for the losing of the weight. REBELLIOUS to the end, mamma!

Io capisco un po l'italiano. Practice makes perfect! errr. perfect-o!!!


jason said...

refried beans are so unbelievably gross don't eat them.
ps not only do i eat after 6pm, i eat after 9pm!! take that janet's mama.

janet said...

they don't taste gross. they just look gross. they were pretty tasty on my nachos. mmmmm healthy eatin'!

Mosh said...

Even better than refried beans... dun dun dun... DEHYRDRATED INSTANT REFRIED BEANS! I was looking for a photo online, but alas. You'll just have to believe in the awesomeness.