lingonberry color swatches to the beat

Well, I went to Ikea this weekend with my momz and got some things with umlauts in their names and made out of all-natural particleboard. She got all whiney, so we had to go home without any lingonberry ice cream.

I'm worried about the color coordination of my new room. So worried that I spent far too long looking at how to make little boxes of color to show you kind people who have better things to do than online interior design. My coding skills are far from wizardry levels, though I am late for the Quidditch match. Har har. I can hear the staleness of the air.....Anyways, I think I'm borrowing my friend's maroon carpet and painting the walls a light apple green.
DUCK WADDLE
Obviously I didn't figure out how to make little boxes w/o using a graphics program. Poo-Poo to you too. What do you think? Total crap (poo-poo?) or go with the color called "Sweatshirt Gray"?

I'll be moving in this Saturday (eeee!), but I'll still be coming home every Sunday to tutor -- it brings the crackly under-the-table bacon. I actually just make the kids clean the bacon grease off the kitchen floors for an hour. So I'll be shuttling back from home to home, such a difficult thing, being a single parent of none. The things we do! Upside: I get to eat home-cookin' and say: "My home, well, one of my homes." but in an un-snotty way.

Other points:
• This is one reason why moving is thumbs-up. Luckily, I got home at a reasonable hour. Beastie Boys should make another song called "An Open Letter to NJ Transit." The chorus can include your favorite stops --
  
  Elizabeth, Newark, Metropark and Linden
  From the capital to the suburb of Edison
  Asian, Middle-Eastern and Latin
  Black, White, Transit you make it happen


• Yay Conan! Hope there's still room for silly at 11:30... You deserve it cuz you're way funnier than Leno, and you can hear this right now, just like all my other celebrity friends! Ooooeeeooooo!


• Chapter one excerpt from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) by Jon Stewart and The Writers of The Daily Show. It seriously only gets better from here: Vomitoriums aside, Rome's biggest contribution to American government was probably its legal system, which codified key concepts like equal protection, "innocent until proven guilty," and the right to confront one's accusers. These very same issues would later form the basis of both the Bill of Rights and a mind-numbing quantity of Law and Order scripts.

finis

i wish i had a sibling

Toothpaste for Dinner has a sister!!!

Interview with Drew Toothpaste. Or would it be Drew Dinner?

no visitors EVER

Well, I finally won that game where you look for a month and a half for a decent place to live with non-insane, non-dirty, non-stupid people. Wheeee!! I think I made the right decision in turning down the place with the girl who said, "You can't have visitors ever." It was the "ever" that got to me, not the scary shrunken heads. Anyways, this is a hard game, I've decided, not for novices. Beginners can start easy with things that can't consciously (though perhaps karma-tically) reject you... like what to order at a diner when you don't feel like fries or pancakes. Then, slam a door repeatedly on your fingers as well as your eyeballs. And then maybe you'll be ready for the pain.

So yay. I move in in the beginning of October, with the tantalizing-at-least-for-now possibility of decorating and arranging and the like of my not very big, cosy room. At least for the next six months, I will not have a tortured and hatefully consuming relationship with Craigslist. And maybe during that time, people will learn how to spell easy words.

Speaking of spelling, somebody stumbled onto this site looking for zacuzi. (For a moment, I got paranoid and thought it was maybe some actual word. But no, it isn't.) I think if you own a jacuzzi and you are renting out your place, you should be able to spell it. If not, give me money or chocolate.

Other interesting search phrases:

• listen to Ashlee Simpson turn on the radio? don't come here


• zach braff ethnicity -- Well, he just seems ... white to me. New Jerseyan? Ok, that's enough. He continues to be funny. May he continue the never-noble quest of blogging. Some of the comments are creepy, as fans can be. And then I get creeped out that I am spending time reading comments for a celeb's blog. And a lot of them don't spell correctly either. I really didn't realize this was such a rampant issue. Like pillaging.


• Music and words to thank a mother Yeah. I got lots of those. It's okay Yahoo; your search engine is fabulous, life is fabulous, those shoes, fabulous!


• web I almost don't know what to say. Post-modern?

Sigh. You're still here. Amazing.

Yesterday night was opening night at the Met. I was hanging out by the Lincoln Center fountain after work (that's where all the cool kids go. I was, like, waiting for Robbie to pass by. He, like, totally asked me to borrow a pen in Trig today. And I was like soooo squeeeeal!!) ... .. . to enjoy lovely weather and that chlorine smell. There were all these elderly people, making their way to the opera house, all decked out in finery. It was entertaining for about 5 minutes, like the Emmys. Oh who am I kidding. I teared up at that stupid last-show-montage and that stupid Sarah Jessica Parker speech. Stupid.


And then I bid my new bronze friends goodbye and skipped off on the path (metaphorical. Not actual capitalized transit system) to golden New Jersey. My "new friends" are part of a public art thingy going on for a few months all over La Grande Pomme, whimsical bronze sculptures by Tom Otterness, whose work you have probably encountered if you ever take the L train at 8th Ave.

Mmmm. Fries and pancakes....

music like whoa

Band: Arcade Fire
Album: Funeral
Hype/Praise: Freaking well-deserved. Bestest in awhile.
Buy: Merge Records

Stream: 3 songs
MP3s: List of Links

On your webby way, now... click click click, there's no place like put-album-on-obsessive-repeat home!!!!

emmyay!

Yay for Arrested Development for winning Emmys!!!. Watch this show!!! FOX Sunday nights. 8:30 I think? Hahaha. "Check your local listings." There's something I thought I would never write out. This is the only honestly funny sitcom on network TV left besides Scrubs.

sky captains <3 Huckabee

Watched Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow on Friday and I have to say, it was quite an entertaining movie. People compare it to Indiana Jones and Star Trek and say it falls short, but I don't think these are the same kind of movie. The plot is almost kind of inconsequential. Apocalypse prevented. Romance. But it brings all these different elements together, like the Wizard of Oz, crazy robots, comic books, this really (I thought) cool art deco aesthetic with a twist, everything made from CGI or something computer-y... the actors filmed in front of a blue screen, new york, nice banter/relationship between Gwynnie's character and Jude's (dreamy sigh), Giovanni Ribisi was not annoying but actually awwww. I did that a lot. I gasped, I 'awwwed' -- it's that kind of movie. One of those you see at the theater with your buddies with some smuggled candy.

My boss sometimes calls me "girl reporter" which I have turned into "super-girl reporter." Does this mean I can wear a cool hat like Apple's mom? Sigh. Of course not.

It's the year of Jude, hey! Durrrr. I'm intensely curious to see I <3 Huckabees. The Nudist Buddhist Borderline-Abusive Love-In offers some intriguing glimpses into the making of the movie.

My favorite part of that article is this:
Perhaps Mr. Russell is trying to free his actors to be as outrageous or ridiculous as he is. The script will require the actors to risk embarrassing themselves thoroughly: Isabelle Huppert is to perform a sex scene while covered in mud, Mark Wahlberg must repeatedly punch himself in the face, Jude Law will vomit into his own hands and Naomi Watts will essentially be driven crazy by her own physical beauty.
The scene at hand is a climactic moment in Mr. Law's character's breakdown, requiring the actor to cry and tear at his clothes. After several takes in which Mr. Law says the lines he has memorized, Mr. Russell is now yelling at him with new lines, even as the camera rolls. Mr. Law, exhausted, finally ad-libs a string of expletives, shrieking and beating his fists into the grass. "I am lost in the wilderness!" he cries. In character (or maybe not), Mr. Hoffman and Ms. Tomlin look on in pained sympathy.
Mr. Russell shouts: "Eeeeee! Eeeee! Keep rolling!"
Mr. Hoffman: "We're rolling. What's `Eeeeee'?" There is no response, but Mr. Law keeps emoting.
Ahahahahahahahahahah! Can you just imagine that scene? It's the 'Eeeeee!'s that kill me.

America the Bookiful

Jon Stewart wants to be my friend? What? Man, I have so many on the list already. Do you think he'll apply for waiting list? (No, Stanford, I don't still hold a grudge, really...) I digress. Jon Stewart and the Daily Show team are mad funny and smrt. I don't have cable, and I know this.

Actually, because I don't have that newfangled cable business, I thought I might as well get America (The Book). Even the Times book review people thought it was funny, and who knew they had a sense of humor?

My friend, Jon Stewart, will be at the Union Square Barnes & Noble on Oct. 8th to discuss and sign things. Probably not body parts though.

The Union Square Barnes & Noble has lots of good "events" in the next coming weeks. Art Spiegelman, Howard Dean (sans RAAHRRRR?), Maya Angelou, Daniel Liebeskind, and Roddy Doyle are all dropping by. There must be some Food Network thing going on cuz that channel's denizens are all stopping by and have books as well. Alton Brown, Tony Bourdain (so great!), Jamie Oliver (so cute but it's just cuz he's british!), Rachel Ray (some find her irritating to the point of inviting murder. I don't find her that bad. But quite the perky one. Too much perkiness invites at least a maiming.), and Nigella Lawson (is she still on the food network? all the guys want her ... and her food.)

Food Network, the only other reason to get cable.

in my head, in my heart, in my soul

Y to the P, as usual, has some great pics of the 'secret' Modest Mouse show. Twas lots of fun. I was a-skeered that I would be all falling asleep at a rocking-out concert. Oh, excuse me. I meant, rawking out. There. Rawk is a word like crunk. If I use it again in another entry very soon, I will have to start an emo band.

They played lots of stuff from their latest, most populist album, Good News For People Who Love Bad News. The crowd didn't go crazy for "Float On" until the vocals came in and I felt mildly proud and pretentious for recognizing it from the loop or whatever you call a computer-y thing. Ha. They should have a children's story like Pinocchio, for hipsters. The "almost-real" boy's nose would just turn up and up and up and his limbs would remain wooden and clacky, wear stupid clothes, and have a small, squishable (but unsquishably moral!) insect-like friend. They opened with "Paper Thin Walls," great for leading the set and I liked the show a lot, even though I'm not very familiar with their older oeuvre. They played "Ocean Breathes Salty" - yayyy- That's one of my fave songs. It's even on the radio as their next single. What if people start liking the radio again? Huh.

Apartment search continues to sap my life away. I haven't really read the paper since maybe Friday of last week. My Sunday times is still sitting fatly, unloved, and yellowing. So far I only vaguely know of hurricanes and tropical storms, the Dems are all despair and doom and gloom about not being able to beat the W, and I've learned that you really should be careful to not sleep on the train so that there's no Real Danger of it taking you away from your destination and into the who-knows, "yard," and that apartment searches are depressing, causing me to eat a lot, because food is my metaphorical yet tangible (no sense!) home, and that I feel like an anorexic girl (fat and hungry) without the actual anorexia. I think that's called empathy.

I also thought musicians would've been able to be a little more eloquent. Though, I like the big smile Ted Leo has holding his "Not Insured" sign. I'm getting mixed signals. Though he is coming out with a rawkin (last time) album, I hear.

And, hey, at least I stay informed about opera like it's my job or something, right?

offering

I meant to update this weekend. Right now, I feel like there were lots of topic, full of interesting zing and zoom. But of course, I don't remember right now. So all I can offer you is 1) an image of how awful this apartment-searching is being to me and 2) a cookie recipe.

1) Boring way: Like pulling teeth.
Better and far more accurate way: Like pulling teeth from your ears.

Better things will follow ... right... now!
2) I made these ginger molasses cookies twice. Both times fantastically delicious. And easy!! Clink the link. Click the lick. A hit at the office! Win more friends!! Answer to all problems! Panacea! Yeah, SAT vocab. Coming in handy at life, aaaaas usual!

They go well with chai.

Thanks Brenda Hall from allrecipes.com!
3/4 cup margarine, melted
1 cup white sugar
1 egg
1/4 cup molasses
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 cup white sugar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DIRECTIONS:
In a medium bowl, mix together the melted margarine, 1 cup sugar, and egg until smooth. Stir in the molasses. Combine the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, cloves, and ginger; blend into the molasses mixture. Cover, and chill dough for 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Roll dough into walnut sized balls, and roll them in the remaining white sugar. Place cookies 2 inches apart onto ungreased baking sheets.
Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, until tops are cracked. Cool on wire racks.

icelandic pixies

Who am I kidding. Umlauts wouldn't help me piece my life together any more than Ashlee Simpson would (pieces, pieces of you ... what's the rest of the song again? Where's my long island iced tea?). Some people find Bj��eird. Is she still going out or married or whatever to Matthew "Vaseline" Barney? Does Bj�do things like marriage? Does she drink orange juice? Too prosaic! Who knows? I certainly am not familiar with the realm of Icelandic pixiedom.

I saw a pixie on the subway the other day. He was tall, lanky, red-headed, small pointy nosed, pointy eared, and wearing green. I'm sure his wings were under his hipster-cool trackjacket. Hipster-pixies ... outfitted by Puma. Chuh, sellouts.

Anyways, back to Bj� Her latest album, Medulla, was released.. not too long ago. Oh durr, it was this past Tuesday. Y'know... Tuesdays. Better than Mondays. Thanks and "durr" is acceptable in all official correspondance. So, after reading this actually interesting and decently well-written review and hearing all the ker-az-y werds on the streetsizzleshizzle, I wanted to hear it ... w/o buying it, of course. Well, at work I am not privy to those kiosks (what a funny word) at mega music stores that sometimes work or maybe just in the left earphone, but I did manage to find a place that streams the album if you give them your soul. I mean your email address. You can listen to the whole album at XFM London as well as commentary on each song by Bjork, which is pretty cool.

On first listen, I thought it was pretty neat. The whole album is mostly vocals, a little piano here, a little synth or something there. But seriously a cappella. With collaboration with a guy from The Roots and some amazing Japanese beat-box guy, a choir, some pixie dust... Okay I'll stop with the pixie thing. Mmmmm pixie sticks. I love the stripped down sound, even if some aspects have probably been very manipulated. Not that I'm going to be as stupid as to try to genre-ize her music, but some tracks, bordered on some sort of edgy/supermodernclassical. It's the choral sound that does it.

Some of it is very beautiful. Some of it will make you have a quizzical look. Just like her. Apparently, there is a video for "Oceania", the song specially composed for this year's Olympics opening ceremonies (remember her dress that turned into the world?? here but I haven't seen it cuz Quicktime gets all crunky on me.

Ok, well check it out. I can only foresee the album growing on me after more listens cuz I'm buyin'.

New Yorker's Alex Ross on Icelandic music.

P.S. How's the apartment search going? This pretty much sums it up.

oh, craig

Craig(slist), I can't get over you.

Sure, people suck. Especially when can't spell and don't know what commas are for. But Craig, you sound so harmless and honest. I can't stay mad at you. Now I have to go back and check apartment listings for the 20th time today and pretend it's my 5th. Oh my god...

I'm a craisglist-o-holic.

And I need help.

Not an original thought in me

Well, there goes my stab at creation... this guy has beat me to the phrase "escaping words" by a couple of years in poem form. Now, he may be a sweater-vest? wearing angry writing snowman, but I'm just ... no, I'm not going to try to compete with that. (limply) I just don't have it in me. His poem is "about the compulsion to write." What I thought previously and naively a unique turn of word usage is supposed to mean that my words here have escaped from my brain filter. Therefore, there is no guarantee that they will be any good. Or that I am trying to catch the ones that are good and meaningful. Less so the latter situation. See, I'm not making sense already.

Dammit, why can't I just be Bj�and be all inventive and quirky-insane and an Icelandic pixie? I'm sure that would solve all my problems. I would say a bunch of words and it would be lauded poetry and song. And I'd have an umlaut in my name. J�t. Umlauts. The Quicker Fixer Upper.

Hhhhrrmmmm. So what's up?
Oh, not much.
That's cool.
(pause)
Well, I gotta go.
Ok, bye.

Sorry, I was just practicing being inane. One small letter away from in�. Hehehehehe. Too much fun.

Sighs. Well, it was nice being able to sleep in. Here's some interesting, not-very-enlightening reading...

Ehee ... Literary doping makes me feel better about my unproductivity in regards to writing. "I would explain my high productivity by my desperate loneliness and my pathetic sadness that causes me work to extreme lengths to fill the hollow void that is my life."
I just use TV and sleep and cookies. Cookies are good for the void.

Okay, liberals. The answer to winning elections is the opposite of eating babies!!!! Now go procreate!

The field of philosophy is more like soft-rock'n'roll, then regular. Is popular philosophy possible? I'm kinda curious about these books that are mentioned. Not that I've gotten through and taken in any "primary text" philosophy of late besides some Plato and that was during school ... maybe I'll check some of those "bite size" phil books out after/if I finish Brothers Karamazov. Or maybe, like, I'll do my nails. *giggles*

Saved the best for last!!!! Cello is the new punk!!!
This article has shown me how the addition of "cello" to any word usually will make it funny. "cello revolution" What is "straight cello rock"?? The whole idea just doesn't sound very good. Like cellos should. But who knows.

Jump, Little Children is one of my fav bands w/ a cello, though cello-rock it is not. I haven't been keeping up with them lately. I hope they don't suck.

Whoooo, this was a long entry. Even though it was all links. The highlight of my weekend was hearing "Bohemian Rhapsody" as piano-muzak at Nordstroms. Man, that guy played well...I'll remember him forever. Rock on!

mother embraces technology

That's right, folks. My mother, who isn't exactly a Luddite, but might as well be ... (we just got a microwave like two years ago.... and an old, donated one at that) ... got her first cellphone. *teenage squeeeeal!*

Before she's all txt-messaging her friends about that hot guy at the korean video store and saying stuff like lol, fo shizzle, and r u in luv??, she's gotta figure out how to dial numbers and answer the phone. Despite many tutorials, she hasn't gotten it all down yet. In the beginning, I programmed my work # in as speed dial 3. Thus, all functions of the cell phone became "press #3?" "No Mom, you can't do anything with 3. No, when you want to pick something, press the big OK button in the center of the arrows. Oh, just give me that."

Today, I took a shower and found her waiting in my room, asking about voicemail. I proceed to tell her how it works. "Mom, can I um... finish getting changed?" "Okay... (pause) ... can you call my phone and leave message?"

So now, as Wan's mom has so aptly put it, my mother has a direct remote control to me at all times.

Did my sanity mention that I need to move? She's on top of things. Those sane ones, ha!

drinking water ... good thing

Well, I'm taking a break from craigslist. I've decided that we're not good for each other anymore. He just can't love me the way I need to be loved. Now watch me eat a pint of ice cream! Actually, there has been a stark decline of postings (mmmmm. postings) as the Sept 1 move in date has now passed. If I do not find housing away from the matriarchal 'rent, I will fluctuate between the dangerous-stabby-kind-of-insane and the dangerously-i'm gonna take up gardening and watch extreme makeover-insane.

Well, while most, if not all, of you have nice water to drink and nice homes to live in and nobody coming after you in that genocidal way.... (yeah, that was unfunny in that inappropriate way)... the conditions in Sudan continue to worsen. The NYT reports figures of around 50,000 black Africans killed and 1.2 million displaced. The US, pretending to have learned something from Rwanda circa 1994, has only gone so far as to call the situation a 'genocide.' Nobody has taken any decisive action.

The Guardian has good coverage of Sudan.

Bands, including REM and Badly Drawn Boy, get together with Oxfam to put out a compilation album with proceeds going to aid. (I resisted saying bands band together... is there hope yet?) Each album will pay for drinking water for 15 people. Or you can donate in other ways -- The Guardian assembles a list of groups, outlining what these funds will be used for.

Oxfam Int'l